I process almost everything outwardly. It is in my nature. Whether I take a Myers Briggs test or Birkman analysis or any one of a dozen personality instruments I discover that I work things out in the field. My process is to float ideas and thoughts on the sea of others reactions and feelings and modulate my interior reflections carefully and thoughtfully. The danger is I can rely too much on what is safe and allow others responses to dictate my own convictions based on what is benign and inoffensive, or at least, on balance, down the middle and never extreme.
I need others…I need my brothers. Speaking with them I know they will hear my heart and my mind. Collectively they will bring fresh words and perceptions to me that I never considered, to then rehabilitate my own thoughts to be more whole. But more than that, with time, we will have the courage to speak of convictions that come from unresolved places, some even dark; places that need outing and cleansing. This only comes from time spent with and in the company of those who are not afraid to speak and not perturbed by challenging false assumptions.
My tendency when under pressure and doubt is to retreat into myself, to a place even bordering on self-pity. How tragic that is. What it does to my creativity and ability to dream is to close off the juices of the Spirit. Those fresh winds come mostly through people I trust and relationships that are transparent and free to see me and speak into my life with laughter and seriousness mixed in a joyful soup. Our little experiment to do that together as men has proved to be what the doctor ordered. It is daunting at times but the excitement felt as we drive to our location for lunch and coffee is the anticipation that we are heading into a place of peace…and a lot of fun.